get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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