Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
