you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
