oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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