Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
