you traded sex for a burrito?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
