Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
then he tried to convert me to islam
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
