you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize