well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Never underestimate the power of titties
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