Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
