Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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