your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
as a side note pls kill me
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
