I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize