I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
3 2 1 whiskey
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
