I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
