My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
