Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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