I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize