hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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