i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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