Don't you send me to vm
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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