So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
