well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
