she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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