his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
