It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
