I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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