dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
