You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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