official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize