I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
