oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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