Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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