just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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