i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
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