Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think my moral compass just broke
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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