apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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