"it" just moved
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
