the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
