I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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