Princesses don't give blow jobs
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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