He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My feet surprised me
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