I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
