you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
