He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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