So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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