I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
