Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
