; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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