Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
