the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
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