you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
