I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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