why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
