Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize