There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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