Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
