So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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