ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
