Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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