she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
