did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
