Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
