I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
my poor anus
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
