Pants 0. Shit 1.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Drake has all the answers
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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