I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
